By Alan Montgomery
Alan is co-Chair of Reading Humanists and a former Chair of Farnham Humanists. As a teenager, he felt sorry for God having to listen to the terrible drone of human singing.
On school speaking gigs I often explain how I became a humanist. I grew up in Northern Ireland where everyone was either Roman Catholic or Protestant. My parents were Protestant. Sunday meant going to morning and evening services, and Sunday school in between. In my teens I began to doubt Christianity. I talk with the students about the usual dilemmas, such as the problem of evil. Sometimes I add an unusual source of my own doubt.
We were Presbyterians – the ones who had children’s swings chained up on a Sunday. Services usually contained psalms with particularly boring tunes. Between choir and congregation, we made a pretty awful noise. I remember computing how many churches there might be in Belfast who were likely making a similarly awful noise. 500 maybe. And it’s not just Belfast. It's all over Ireland and all over the world – tens of thousands of churches. I pictured this terrible drone ascending to the heavens from millions of voices. I felt sorry for God. He really must dread Sunday morning coming round. Other religions require kneeling and standing and bowing to the ground. Would any intelligent, loving God really want all this stuff?
Recently I’ve begun to reflect upon this judgement. Church services are called “worship” but they’re really rituals that people participate in. Jonathan Haidt’s The Righteous Mind makes the point that, for most people, doing things together regularly and repeatedly, i.e. ritual, is a powerful way to create community. So, what’s going on in worship is something for the benefit of the congregation and the church authorities and the church establishment. It’s not really something for God.
Humanists tend to stress individualism over group mentality, and rational thought over emotion. As a result, maybe we’re missing out on the positive benefits of ritual. In Reading we have a Sunday Alternative (formerly Assembly), and their primary objective is community building. Singing together does just that. Stephen Paul, one of the leaders, informs me that Sunday Alternative has little rituals, such as when they move from the informal coffee session to the start of the proceedings, and sometimes when they sing songs they say “That was nice – let's sing it again”. This has become a catch phrase which is anticipated and appreciated by all. Maybe staid humanist groups are missing a trick that the church is discovered years ago. Maybe we need to have a little bit more ritual and repetition to help build community among our members. But not psalm singing please.
Editorial postscript on humanist confirmation ceremonies
One of the key things that is missing from humanism in most countries (apart from Norway, Iceland and a few other countries) is some kind of ritual or ceremony that recognises and celebrates the fact that someone has become a humanist or started identifying as one. The editors asked ChatGPT what a humanist confirmation ceremony might look like for someone at any age. This is what it came up with:
A humanist confirmation ceremony, sometimes referred to as a non-religious or secular coming-of-age ceremony, is a celebration of personal growth and transition, focusing on an individual’s values and responsibilities as a member of the community. These ceremonies are tailored to individuals of any age, recognising personal milestones and achievements in life. Here’s how such a ceremony might be structured:
Welcome and Introduction: The ceremony begins with a welcome speech that sets the tone, emphasising personal development, independence, and community responsibilities.
Readings and Reflections: Selected readings from literature, poetry, philosophical texts, or speeches are included, reflecting humanist values such as reason, empathy, respect for others, and the pursuit of knowledge. These readings can be performed by family members, mentors, or the celebrant.
Personal Statement by the Confirmand: The individual gives a speech reflecting on their personal journey, aspirations, and values. This is a key part of the ceremony, allowing them to share their beliefs, commitments, and goals.
Expressions of Support: Relatives, friends, or mentors may speak, offering guidance, wisdom, and support. They might share memories, congratulate the individual on reaching this milestone, and express their hopes for the future.
Symbolic Actions: The ceremony may include symbolic gestures such as lighting a candle to symbolise enlightenment and knowledge, presenting a book of special significance, or other tokens that represent personal growth.
Music and Cultural Elements: Music that resonates with the individual or their family can be played or performed, including favourite songs or culturally significant music.
Closing Words: The celebrant or a significant figure in the individual’s life offers closing thoughts, focusing on the importance of community, ethical living, and the continued pursuit of personal growth.
Celebration: The ceremony typically concludes with a gathering or party, providing an opportunity for family and friends to celebrate the individual’s achievements and this important milestone.
Humanist confirmations are highly personalised, focusing on the individual’s beliefs, values, and aspirations, celebrating their unique journey and commitment to living a thoughtful, ethical, and fulfilling life.
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