By Alex Williams
Schools are microcosms of society, providing for their students a first taste of what it will be like to be out in the real world. The rules are different to home, the relationships different to family, and the expectations set in the school context may stay with us for life. That’s one of the reasons why faith schools are so pernicious, because they perpetuate the assumption that religion deserves a privileged place in society, which is simply wrong in our secular context. This poem explores, with tongue very firmly in cheek, the hypocrisy of religions which claim special privilege for their beliefs.
Don’t take His name in vain, my child
He really cannot stand it
That’s why the priests and imams
And the law itself have banned it.
He’s really quite a nervous god
Cruel words break through His shell
To the extent that He will roast you
In the fiery pits of hell.
Don’t point out His hypocrisies
It makes Him feel quite sheepish
And shouting at Him in that way
Is rather Meryl Streepish.
It’s not His fault He knows it all
And yet let's evil thrive.
You should thank Him for Creation
And be grateful you’re alive.
You may well disagree with Him
On certain minor matters
But it’s wrong to use the school debate
To tear His views to tatters.
It’s really rather bullying
The way you’ve mocked and marred Him.
His father, who I haven’t met,
Claims you’ve permanently scarred Him.
Oh wait, must take this phone call…
Social services on their way?
Now you’re in for trouble, child
All bullies have their day!
No, wait, it seems they’re not for you;
They’re here to take His dad.
Not safe to leave the boy at home
When the father’s clearly mad.
He wants to kill his only son
To give people a pass
From the deeds he labelled sinful…
Go on child. Go back to class.