Obituary – Valerie Mainstone, Great Humanist and Social Activist, 1941-2025
- Maggie Hall
- Jan 31
- 2 min read
By Maggie Hall
Maggie is a former Chair of Brighton Humanists.
There cannot be many funeral ceremonies that include people dancing in the aisles, but that is exactly what happened on 31 October last year at the funeral of my dear friend and humanist mentor, Valerie Mainstone.
I first met Valerie in 2008, when I joined Brighton Humanists – or the Brighton and Hove Humanist Society, as it was then. We served on the committee together for several years, and much of what I learned about how to ‘do’ humanism came from her. Valerie was not just a humanist at humanist events, but in every aspect of her life. She was a staunch activist for many causes and an active member of many local campaigning groups. To me, she epitomised the humanist principle of trying to make this one life that we know we have as good as possible for as many people as possible, while we are here.
Valerie and I had a couple of things in common. For one thing, standing at just under five feet tall, we were both members of the ‘short-arse club’, of which I am the founder and, sadly, since Valerie’s demise, the only member. We also both spent some years – although at different times – living in the same small town of Southwick in West Sussex.
Unlike me, Valerie was fluent in French and spent some time in Marseilles as part of a degree in European History with French, which she took in her forties as a mature student at the University of Sussex.
She was particularly active in the areas of human rights and feminism. Several of the organisations Valerie was involved with were represented at her funeral. The list is impressive:
The Network of International Women
Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom
Women in Black
Women’s History Group
Defend the NHS
And I’m sure there were others that I’ve missed.
One of Valerie’s favourite campaigning causes was the recognition of activist women of the past. In 2024, dressed in her customary suffragette outfit, she attended the unveiling of a plaque in Brighton to commemorate Mary Hare, the pioneering teacher of the deaf and campaigner for women’s right to vote.
During the time I knew her, I saw Valerie bounce back from several serious illnesses and injuries that would have completely floored most people. ‘Indefatigable’ is the word that describes her better than any other I can think of.
I know that at one time Valerie visited Cuba, where she seems to have acquired a taste for salsa dancing – yet another of her interests when she was still physically able. Hence the dancing in the aisles to Gloria Estefan’s Mi Tierra, which was the closing music at her funeral. Valerie would have absolutely loved it.
Valerie leaves a son and a daughter, four granddaughters and two great-grandsons.
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