By Aaron the Humanist
As it's the season of peace and goodwill to mankind and all that nonsense, Aaron asks our readers: Do you do Christmas? Partially? Fully? Not at all?
Contrary to popular belief, I am quite an extrovert, lively and colourful creature (see photos of my lounge below). Colourful lights, bright clothing, extravagant ideas and endless dreams fill my life, but Christmas is not a time of joy for me, and hasn’t been for many years. Like all good atheists, I played the game, did my duty and held in there for as long as I could... but eventually I just drew the line. Enough was enough.
Initially, my family would indulge in gift lists, price caps etc., where we each bought things that we knew would be liked by the recipient, but there would often still be something you wouldn’t have bought yourself. Yet we smiled politely, looked overjoyed, and shelved the gift or, if brave enough, asked for a receipt and took it back, to then buy what you actually wanted. WHY do we do this to ourselves?
“...returning home to a single, empty, cold house at the end of the night is soul destroying.”
Being invited to someone's home at Christmas when you're single is like going on a date with a couple. You are there like a spare part. Everything they do amplifies your outsideness. I have spent Christmas with family and with friends, and on all occasions they have been pretty solitary, upsetting experiences. As well-meaning as everyone truly is, returning home to an empty, cold house at the end of the night is soul destroying. There's been many a Christmas with teary eyes and sleepless nights. My last Christmas was 2009.
As if family isn’t enough, there are all those TV programmes and Christmas films, although Die Hard starring Bruce Willis is a Christmas film I do enjoy. I typically go for a walk on Christmas morning, but even then there are families being happy, couples holding hands… there is simply no escape. I would very happily go into hibernation after Halloween and not come out again until it is all over.
So let's break it down into the nuts and bolts:
I don’t have children
Christmas is very much a child-centred event, with the excitement, the surprise, the stories (lies?) that are told, the anticipation. For parents too, it is about building the experience for the children. Santa Claus, reindeer, snowmen? When you don’t have children, it does seem fairly pointless.
I’m not religious
As a single person, going to church, enjoying mass, sharing in celebration of the festive event would be a reason to do Christmas… but I don’t have a faith, I’m a humanist, with ideals set around solid factual experiences. I have a couple of Christian friends who do go to church at this time of year, and they have invited me. I have declined.
I’m single
Spending lots of money on your partner, or even making them something special, cooking them a meal, and all that “together” stuff, really loses its appeal when it’s just you there. This is actually made worse when “couples” then invite you into their home to watch them be happy and together.
Christmas cards
As an environmentally-conscious person, I don’t like to see waste, and although Christmas cards can be recycled to a degree, they do seem pointless. Are they an ego-boosting exercise for those with the most, boasting they have 150, when you only have six? Then those times when someone gives you a card whom you had forgotten…
I’m not wealthy
Even when I used to do Christmas, it always seemed crazy to me that we would all join in this task of spending money we couldn’t afford, buying guessed gifts for people we may or may not like, ALL AT THE SAME TIME? Why on earth do this in the same month? Image, pride and a desire for an argument-free Christmas requires you to spend more than you need to, thus building up debt. What a lovely way to start the New Year.
Christmas Spirit... No not that one
For some, Christmas is a great excuse for a piss-up drinking session to down far more alcohol that the body can handle in order to feel merry. I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m barely a light drinker. But I guess drinking helps to drown away the fears of the bill in the New Year. Why not celebrate New Year’s Eve instead? At least this marks the passing of a year, something worthy of celebration.
Unwanted gifts
Spending months in preparation doesn’t help when buying gifts for difficult people. In the end you go with your “best guess” and hope that they like it. You might then in return receive a gift you really hate or have no use for, or just wish they hadn’t bothered as you hate to see waste.
For anyone still reading this who isn’t a humanist, I can say that this is not typical humanist behaviour. Most of my humanist friends very much do Christmas in one fashion or another.
This is an update of an article in a previous issue of Humanistically Speaking.
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